Comments on: Just How Called Are You? http://www.twistingroad.com/log/how-called/ Celebrating Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness Mon, 23 Jan 2012 22:38:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Steve Coxsey http://www.twistingroad.com/log/how-called/comment-page-1/#comment-452 Steve Coxsey Wed, 16 Jun 2010 03:41:19 +0000 http://www.twistingroad.com/?p=1243#comment-452 I know I'm stepping into it here, but... I can't help it! Yes, Darcy, I pretty much believe that -- right now at least. I really line up behind Barbara Sher on this. Your calling is what you were "made" to do, and doing what you were made to do is the same as doing what you love to do. Her logic is marvelous. We were all born to do what we love to do because what we love flows from our unique gifts and talents and way of seeing the world. And since we are unique the world (mankind) needs us to do what we love because it benefits others. One of the helpful tips for people trying to "find their calling" is to ask friends and family what it is they seem to do pretty well, the thing people will say, "Oh, you should definitely ask Darcy to do that, she's really good at it." Sometimes what we're really good at is so comfortable, like breathing or like a fish swimming, that we don't realize it's not the same for everyone else. Here's the stepping in it part. Obviously someone can have a tender spot or a place of sorrow or pain or emptiness connected to their area of giftedness. Expressing your calling can bring joy, liveliness, or maybe just great comfort. Those are the experiences people can have when they will commit to their calling. But there is always the risk of loss or hurt when we commit. When we love deeply we get great reward but great pain when something goes wrong. When we pour ourselves into following our calling we get the joy and the excitement, but we open ourselves up to deeper disappointment and greater pain if difficult times disrupt that. It's a lonely life running from your calling, because by its nature (which is in fact your nature) it can't let go and move on. It wants to be expressed. At its core each person's calling is about individual growth (developing it) and also about benefiting other people (sharing it) so there is good in it. Maybe that's where the key is to making peace with it. Best, Steve I know I’m stepping into it here, but… I can’t help it!

Yes, Darcy, I pretty much believe that — right now at least. I really line up behind Barbara Sher on this. Your calling is what you were “made” to do, and doing what you were made to do is the same as doing what you love to do. Her logic is marvelous. We were all born to do what we love to do because what we love flows from our unique gifts and talents and way of seeing the world. And since we are unique the world (mankind) needs us to do what we love because it benefits others.

One of the helpful tips for people trying to “find their calling” is to ask friends and family what it is they seem to do pretty well, the thing people will say, “Oh, you should definitely ask Darcy to do that, she’s really good at it.” Sometimes what we’re really good at is so comfortable, like breathing or like a fish swimming, that we don’t realize it’s not the same for everyone else.

Here’s the stepping in it part. Obviously someone can have a tender spot or a place of sorrow or pain or emptiness connected to their area of giftedness. Expressing your calling can bring joy, liveliness, or maybe just great comfort. Those are the experiences people can have when they will commit to their calling. But there is always the risk of loss or hurt when we commit. When we love deeply we get great reward but great pain when something goes wrong. When we pour ourselves into following our calling we get the joy and the excitement, but we open ourselves up to deeper disappointment and greater pain if difficult times disrupt that.

It’s a lonely life running from your calling, because by its nature (which is in fact your nature) it can’t let go and move on. It wants to be expressed. At its core each person’s calling is about individual growth (developing it) and also about benefiting other people (sharing it) so there is good in it. Maybe that’s where the key is to making peace with it.

Best,
Steve

]]> By: Darcy http://www.twistingroad.com/log/how-called/comment-page-1/#comment-451 Darcy Tue, 15 Jun 2010 19:31:00 +0000 http://www.twistingroad.com/?p=1243#comment-451 Would you perhaps say that your calling is the thing you just can't help doing even when you don't realize you are doing it? Like a fish swimming in water, the fish might be all like, "What is this water you keep talking about? I have no idea what you even mean when you say water." Like that? And here's another question for you: what if you have something like that but you kind of don't want to be that thing because of baggage or negative connotations around it? Is it just a matter of reframing and coming up with a better (comfier) word or phrase for it? That doesn't seem like enough somehow. Would you perhaps say that your calling is the thing you just can’t help doing even when you don’t realize you are doing it? Like a fish swimming in water, the fish might be all like, “What is this water you keep talking about? I have no idea what you even mean when you say water.” Like that?

And here’s another question for you: what if you have something like that but you kind of don’t want to be that thing because of baggage or negative connotations around it? Is it just a matter of reframing and coming up with a better (comfier) word or phrase for it? That doesn’t seem like enough somehow.

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