Burger Bites: Setting A Challenge
The Burger Bites Series Is Designed To Bring You A Taste Of Coaching.
Since each coaching session follows an overall pattern, a client can learn to anticipate certain things. Although the content, the emotional tone and intensity, and the focus of coaching can be very different from one session to the next, the client knows her coach will start by asking her what she wants to focus on in coaching and end by asking her which specific steps she wants to commit to taking next. Both are up to the client. But occasionally the coach steps in to suggest an action and encourage the client in a big way.
When a coach suggests a big step for a client, it’s called a challenge because it’s something the client isn’t sure she is ready to do. But chosen well, it’s something the coach sees the client is able to do. The confidence the coach has in the client’s ability to tackle the big step inspires the client to see herself as more capable and more powerful.
A coach presents a challenge with a brief introduction. He explains that he is suggesting something for the client to do, and that since it is a challenge the client is free to accept it, reject it, or modify it. He usually acknowledges the challenge is a big step for the client and then gives concrete examples from the client’s experience of why he believes she is ready to do it.
A challenge can be used to ramp up a client’s own plan. For example, a client who has set a goal to write a book wants to establish a habit of writing regularly. She says her plan is to write for fifteen minutes per day three days a week. If she and her coach have been talking in detail about how she can free up time every day for writing, he might say, “I want to challenge you. Can you write fifteen minutes per day every day? Remember, you’re free to accept the challenge, reject it, or modify it.” The client may pause, take a deep breath, and then agree. Or she might say, “I can write every week day but Thursday, and I’ll be too busy Sunday, so I’ll write five days this week.”
A coach will sometimes use a challenge to speed up action. For example, a client having sessions every other week might commit to sketching out a plan for looking at college programs she wants to attend. The coach might say, “Can you sketch out a plan the first week and then contact some of the schools for information the next week? That way you’re moving ahead more quickly. Do you think you’ll have time for that? Remember, it’s a challenge, so you can accept it, reject it, or modify it.”
A coach might use a challenge to bring in something the client has discussed in general but avoided doing for a while. Imagine a client has been talking about wanting to spend time sketching and painting again, which she hasn’t done for years. She has occasionally mentioned that she has a lot of her work stored in the back of a closet and wants to go through it. This session, she’s talking about creating a more peaceful place to work at home on other projects. She commits to spending an hour three different evenings sorting through clutter and arranging things in the room she’s setting up as a home office.
The coach, remembering the ongoing call of artwork, asks, “Which closet are your sketches and paintings in?” Then he might suggest, “I want to give you a challenge. Since you’ll be sorting through things already, can you put your artwork on the list of things to review? You’ll free up space in the closet and you’ll take one very important step to get you closer to creating art pieces again.”
The client’s response will tell both her and her coach a lot. She might light up at the idea: “I can go ahead and set up a place to sketch in my front room while I’m at it.” She might be surprised how heavy the task sounds: “It should be a lot simpler than clearing out the hall closet, but I would still rather clear out the hall closet than open my portfolio case.” She may shut the idea down completely and avoid discussing it: “No, I’m not ready for that. The home office is more than enough for now.” In the client’s response, both coach and client are seeing a bit of the path she will eventually need to take to honor her heart’s call to art.
Challenging a client is an art in itself. Overused, this skill becomes mechanical and ignores the client’s own rhythm and wisdom, chiding her to go further and faster than she’s ready to go. Used wisely, it lets a client see how capable she is becoming and how resourceful she really is. A powerful coach listens to his client and to his intuition to get an idea of when she needs to be encouraged to take a huge step, called to face resistance, or even energized to move more quickly. The right sort of challenge at the right time feels like a perfect fit to the client; but at the same time, paradoxically, it surprises her with what she realizes she’s capable of doing.
